Chum Chum Chronicles: The Unnatural Materialization of Jane

Chum Chum and the Unnatural Materialization of Jane is an 83,000 word narrative that comically mixes up hard science, alternate history and fantasy to produce a wonderful, fast paced story of past, present and future colliding in a frighteningly funny scenario in which an advanced squirrel species might rule the planet—again.  Or, when all is said and done, there just might be a completely different “nightmare” scenario awaiting the readers.


Chum Chum the Squirrel is a chrononaut (time traveler) from an advanced Ancient Squirrel Society (ASS) that once dominated humans (chimps) and the globe some thirty-five thousand year ago until aliens came and hunted them (as well as other species) into what we chimps have come to refer to as the Pleistocene extinction. Having the ability to see into the future, the ASS knew that the chimps’ self-destructive habits would eventually cause the Earth to heat up; thus allowing the ASS the ability to know when the chrononuats buried deep within the permafrost of Siberia would thaw. Their mission (after they all wake) is to release a deadly-to-chimps ancient virus cleverly hidden within their nuts, with the intent of eradicating chimpkind and, consequently, stopping the chimp-made destruction of the environment. Squirrels would, once again, rule supreme over the world.

As fate would have it, Chum Chum was accidentally awoken from his cryogenic state four years too early by a geological research team in Siberia, and he became, while awaiting the arrival of his fellow chrononauts, a stand-up comedian.  Having indulged himself for three and a half years in chimp lifestyle, feelings of doubts developed in regards to the integrity of his mission.

The story begins in a comedy club in Denver. Having just finished his routine and on his way home, Chum Chum’s best and only chimp friend is assassinated. Believing that the government has uncovered his and the other chrononauts’s mission to end chimpanity, Chum Chum is certain that the assassination was really a failed attempt on his own life, and he goes on the lam. While fleeing, he, a Squirrel without any bonds to chimpanity, must decide whether or not he will help or hinder, after his fellow chrononauts arrive, the destruction of chimpkind.

Fortunately for us chimps, Chum Chum meets his and, perhaps, all of chimpanity’s saviour:  Jane.  Their relationship evolves into platonic love as their chronicles unfold in an array of machinations. Which chimps can Chum Chum and Jane trust and the fight between chimps and Squirrels for control over the new world—one in which quantum space travel and teleportation have been realized through the hybridization of chimp and squirrel technologies—become the stuff forcing readers’ eyes to burn through pages.